we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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