i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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