Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
