thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
