So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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