I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I fill condoms, not promises.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
