It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
