all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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