so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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