The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
