he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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