if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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