before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
