i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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