she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
