i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
