I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
