Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
