So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
