I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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