why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
