It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
