sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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