I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
We left an ass print on the piano.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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