he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
she smelled like a LAN party
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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