don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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