just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
