so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
