The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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