i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The Olympian is in my bed
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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