I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
