Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
