I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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