Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
