Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
