dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm always down for nudity.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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