I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
