i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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