Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
