im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
