Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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