Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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