we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
