I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
