You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
