I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he thought i was a dude.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Let's get the cat blown out
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
