bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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