i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
