Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
