I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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